Right-Nows

I think life changes more quickly than I've ever realized.

Any given day things can happen that turn our lives down completely unexpected and often foreign roads.

Hearing someone speak about a field they are passionate about.

Taking a class in a subject that you've never studied and realizing you love it.

Reading a book that changes your mind about something.

Going somewhere you've never been.

Meeting someone.

Getting injured.

Losing your job.

Or a loved one.

Thinking you are a healthy twenty-something one day. Being diagnosed with cancer the next.

This might sound trite, but it's amazing how much every single moment of our lives matters.

And yet, how hard is it to live in the present? To actually live as if you believe that those moments matter?

I worry so much about the future that I'm often incapable of enjoying the little seemingly insignificant "right-nows" that determine so much of how the future will play out.

It shows a discontent heart. Adam checks me on this all the time. Like the other night when we finished moving all of our stuff into the home we will share together.

It's lovely.

It's cozy.

It's got personality.

We love it.

And our first night there, as I was lying on the couch with my head in his lap, I mentioned something about how I wondered how long it would be before we could move back to Charlottesville.

Yep, I went there. In that moment. How tragic.

Luckily Adam is a godly, kind-hearted,

patient, man, and instead of throwing his hands up in complete frustration over my ridiculousness, he used the opportunity to sweetly, but wisely, check me on this tendency to jump to the future without being content just enjoying the right-now. And the right-now, right then, was spending a peaceful summer evening with my future husband who I love and will marry 100 days from today.

And that was a moment worth living in the present in.

As are they all.

Even the really hard ones.