attitude problem

last year about this time, i posted about what makes a spot in the library,

a great spot in the library.

it was inspired by my favorite library spot at Duke from which i was working blogging at that moment. funny, i find myself here in that same spot today, working on yet another assignment that is making me want to pull my hair out. wait, no i'm actually blogging again instead of working. anyway, it's the last assignment between me and graduation. classes finished yesterday. i also officially finished my thesis last night. now, i have a 15 page research paper to hammer out before i can throw in the towel and call it good. and then play with my mamma starting monday night.

for whatever reason, i just can't get it on paper/screen. i'm stuck. mostly because of a major attitude problem; namely, i-just-don't-want-to.

and also the fact that my mind is preoccupied with thoughts of, 

"i need to go to the bathroom but i'm nervous to leave all my stuff. should i pack it all up just to walk ten feet down the hall? what if i lose my spot? maybe i'll leave my apple core here so that no one takes my spot."


"why did i not bring more snacks? how can i work all day on a coffee and an apple? where is the closest place to get snacks?"


"great, i'm that person who brings loud snacks, like apples, to the library. i can't exactly eat sandwiches."


"why do i always forget my ear buds? do you think all these people around me would mind if i started playing some explosions in the sky from my computer speakers?"


"why do i feel the need to minimize blogger every time someone walks by and pull up my research paper so that it looks like i'm working? it's not like they are handing out demerits for wasting time in the library."

i just don't think i'm cut out for this student-business anymore. 19 years of school, it's been real. but can we call it quits about now?

how do you get focused when you just can't seem to get focused? share some insight with a friend here! and for all you students--good luck finishing up too!


1 comment:

  1. Haha! Oh I love this. I can relate to this is in so many ways. I too have a spot in the library. I too feel the need to minimize blogger (yours by the way) when people walk by. And I too experience the "should I pack everything up or trust that my colleagues will leave my things in peace while I...go to the bathroom, get more snacks, or go get the books from my locker in the basement that I forgot to take with me to the fourth floor of the library! ahhhhh I relate my dear. Congratulations on being done (or almost anyway!
    Sometimes I think the trick to getting focused is to just let yourself indulge in the craving. I give myself 15 minutes to do what I want, read what I want, and then I say "TIME IS UP...BACK TO WORK!"


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