the morning after

this must be one of the strangest mornings of my life.

for the past week (+) my house has been full of people i love sleeping on every bed, couch, and floor. we've eaten an absurd amount of food, used more toilet paper than is natural, created much recycling in the form of glass beer and wine bottles, played games, watched movies, had picnics, snuggled.

my family was gathering to celebrate another elise graduation. this time from duke. 

but, as of this morning the last ones--mom, dad, peyton and paul--have left. and i feel so strange because,

i've never finished one thing, without a clear "next." i've always had something to get right to. but, this morning, i'm here, starting to clean up from the loving mess that is my house right now, wondering... 

what will i do once my house is back to normal? 
will i be bored? 
will i be lonely?
how long will it be before i find the right job? 
what does one do when they don't have school or work? (or kids to take care of) 
am i stupid not to take jobs i've been offered because i don't think they are the right ones? 
should i be open to applying for jobs outside of north carolina? 
how many days will i last unemployed before i pull my hair out?

last night as we got in bed i started to cry (oh dear) because i was afraid for yesterday to end and today to come--no longer a student (for the first time in 19 years) but no certain "next" to start preparing for either. adam just held me sweetly and started making a long list of great things i could do with my next few days. things i always complain about not having time to do. and he reminded me that God will provide the right job at just the right time. 

has anyone every been in this place before? unemployed, not sure what your next step will be or when you'll take it? were you able to trust God's plan and perfect timing?  

i'm so confident that God brought me to duke, gave me strength to complete my masters, invigorated my passion for the field of global health, and has a purpose for my life. but it's so hard to patiently wait on the Lord, isn't it?

love this verse this morning: 

"'for i know the plans i have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you. plans to give you hope and a future.'" jeremiah 29:11

ps, recap and photos of the fun weekend to come. 


  1. oh girl. i was right where you were just a few years ago. God does provide. BIG time. just pray about it - listen to God - and let Him guide you. you'll feel the nudge. when the choice or decision in front of you is right, you'll feel the nudge. congratulations on graduating!!!

  2. Is it weird I have ALREADY cried for when my children are grown and gone? And I have already cried thinking of being done bearing children?! You are not alone.
    It is hard to wait on the Lord but also so comforting to know we can. Enjoy your days/weeks/month(s) of "freedom" and getting to have fun doing things you never had time for before!

  3. I was right where you are exactly a year ago! I had graduated college and thought I was going to get my dream job and when I didn't, I let my world fall apart around me...I had no idea what to do! I took a job that I wasn't passionate about and moved somewhere where I knew no one and a place that I didn't enjoy. I waited on God's timing though and now a year later I am living in a place I love and I have my dream job. It will take time but just trust in God and you can't go wrong. =)

  4. i have been in the same position. newly graduated, with a history degree and no job. i was unemployed for 6 months, got a job at a call center, and was still living with roommates. i was single and lonely and very afraid. people started saying i should move back with my parents. I imagined my life just going on like that for the next 20 years until i died. it was not fun to be graduated with no clear purpose. God does have plans for you, but remember that those may inclide being unemployed for years or working a horrible job, or just coasting for years. following god doesn't mean your life will be great, just that he will be with you during the bad parts.

  5. Patience has been a struggle for me too, lady friend. Give yourself a bit of time before you worry too much :)


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