this must be one of the strangest mornings of my life.
for the past week (+) my house has been full of people i love sleeping on every bed, couch, and floor. we've eaten an absurd amount of food, used more toilet paper than is natural, created much recycling in the form of glass beer and wine bottles, played games, watched movies, had picnics, snuggled.
my family was gathering to celebrate another elise graduation. this time from duke.
but, as of this morning the last ones--mom, dad, peyton and paul--have left. and i feel so strange because,
i've never finished one thing, without a clear "next." i've always had something to get right to. but, this morning, i'm here, starting to clean up from the loving mess that is my house right now, wondering...
what will i do once my house is back to normal?
will i be bored?
will i be lonely?
how long will it be before i find the right job?
what does one do when they don't have school or work? (or kids to take care of)
am i stupid not to take jobs i've been offered because i don't think they are the right ones?
should i be open to applying for jobs outside of north carolina?
how many days will i last unemployed before i pull my hair out?
last night as we got in bed i started to cry (oh dear) because i was afraid for yesterday to end and today to come--no longer a student (for the first time in 19 years) but no certain "next" to start preparing for either. adam just held me sweetly and started making a long list of great things i could do with my next few days. things i always complain about not having time to do. and he reminded me that God will provide the right job at just the right time.
has anyone every been in this place before? unemployed, not sure what your next step will be or when you'll take it? were you able to trust God's plan and perfect timing?
i'm so confident that God brought me to duke, gave me strength to complete my masters, invigorated my passion for the field of global health, and has a purpose for my life. but it's so hard to patiently wait on the Lord, isn't it?
love this verse this morning:
"'for i know the plans i have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you. plans to give you hope and a future.'" jeremiah 29:11
ps, recap and photos of the fun weekend to come.