the right time for munchkins.

(Source)

as i've mentioned before, a lot of people in our lives have become withchild lately. or else, have become parents. it's exciting! it is. i mean, what could be more wonderful than little ones in your life to hold and play with and love? and it has gotten adam and me thinking about when we might decide to have kids. and it feels like we go back and forth, every day.


some days we feel like we could wait forever. things are so fun and simple the way they are now. i think we'd really, really miss that. and we don't want to rush out of this phase. and other days we get so giddy about the thought of starting a family soon. 


personally, i believe that your spouse should always be prioritized above your children. and so to me, part of that prioritization means giving my spouse a lot of time with me, and me with him, before having kids. i've always thought, if you really want your marriage to come first, you have to give your marriage plenty of time, first. right?


but, a lot of people i know have gotten pregnant in their first year of marriage and things seem to work out great for them too! and in the end, it's such a personal decision. i've always known i wouldn't be rushing into parenting. and adam felt the same. but for some people i know, they've been ready to be mammas/papas since the day they were born.


we are excited to start thinking about when it might happen. and what our lives might look like with a munchkin around. as of now, we've decided we will wait until we are at least into our third year of marriage to start trying. maybe longer! but really, who even knows?


so, 


do you have kids? are you cooking one right now? how long did you wait after being married? how did you make your decision? did you make yourself wait awhile or did you have them early on? why? would just love to know what the process has been like for others! 



(ps, photo by kristal joy. definitely the most talented newborn photographer i know. love her!)





9 comments:

  1. I totally agree with you that it's important to take time to focus on your marriage before you bring little ones into the picture. Good for you guys for really thinking about it & realizing what's most important to you at this stage in life. =)

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    1. thanks courtney! i think the timing is so different for everyone, but yeah, for us, we feel comfortable taking it a little more slowly.

      this is what i say today...haha.

      i appreciate your thoughts so much girl! thanks for reading.

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  2. I don't think any married couple can ever truly be "ready" to be parents. It is a 24 hour job that can only be fully realized after the baby comes home from the hospital. That being said, I think that the most important part of the "munchkin" conversation is readiness and willingness to face parenting as a team.

    When there's a baby in the house, you'll watch simple tasks become more of a production. For example: after you have a baby, you can't simply take a shower. Someone has to watch the baby while you get ready for church. Someone has to watch the baby while you cook dinner, etc. Adjustments that come with constant care will pop up in many aspects of your lives, and having a willing teammate is crucial.

    Lucky for you, you're married to Adam! You two are one of the best teams in the league, and I know that you guys can handle any number of munchkins you want! You are wonderful communicators, and you will definitely get a handle on parenting very quickly. Neither of you will be able to get enough of the little Nelson, or get over the fact that the baby is 100% you and Adam's. You'll have a completely new perspective of your relationship with your own mother, and just how amazing God's gift of life is.

    I hope that this is helpful, and that I didn't scare you away at all! I think that whenever you do decide to have a munchkin, you'll be glad you added another member to Team Nelson :)


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    1. wow, thank you for such a thoughtful response. (and for your vote of confidence in team nelson :) ). just the thought of it can feel daunting...gosh i can't tell you how often i wonder about the shower thing!

      but then, there are those moments when i'm like well, we are going to figure it out sometime. might as well get started! and yeah--the thing about it being a person that is 100% me and adam, gets me. how amazing that will be!

      thank you for reading and for taking such sweet time to respond.

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  3. No kids for hubs or me. Neither of us want them.

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    1. i find that more and more couples are in that boat these days! not everyone has that "parenting bug." thanks for reading/sharing.

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  4. I really appreciate what you say about it being a personal decision, and I totally agree!

    When my husband and I were still engaged, we talked about how we both wanted to have a baby early on in our marriage. But so many people told us we should wait (for the reasons you have mentioned), and I completely understood where they were coming from. Still, we decided to stay true to what we felt was best for us as a couple, for our family. And we feel so blessed that God gave us a beautiful, healthy daughter. She was born a month after our first wedding anniversary.

    Yes, it is difficult to figure out the marriage thing and the parenting thing at the same time. But my husband and I have grown so much -- individually, and together -- since the birth of our daughter. It may sound strange, but she has been so good for us! I am so thankful for the ways God has used her unique personality, and all of the joys and challenges of having a child, to bond us together as parents early on in our marriage.

    I think the desire to have children is good and natural (not to say everyone has to have that desire). You'll know when the time is right, when you're ready. Maybe sooner than expected, especially when you start to see the people you are close to having babies. Maybe not. I would just encourage you to remember that, as much as we may plan, the timing -- the gift of a baby -- is ultimately in God's hands.

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    1. Joanna! Thank you so much for your response! I agree so wholeheartedly with you and loved reading about your experience. It's examples like y'all that show me how different everyone's experiences, timing, reasoning, etc. are. And how beautifully God uses parenting to teach us so much about relationships, marriage, sacrifice, EVERYTHING. And, how God does nudge and allow folks to take on that role at the time HE sees most fit for them...not necessarily according to a formula of "time since married" that just applies to all couples. :)

      This is exactly why i posted this. I know God has a perfect time in mind, and it's important to not rush into before then, OR postpone having them out of fear. Like most things, it's just trying to discern and trust God's loving plan.

      Oh, and by the way,

      G. is a beautiful little girl and i've so loved hearing about y'alls experience with her from LT. :)

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    2. oh, and yes. the more that people in our lives have them...the worse the baby fever gets. :) you are SO right.

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