on wife-dom, and super-humans.

when i decided to be a wife,

i never realized how good it was going to be. i couldn't have known without experiencing it.

but,

i also never thought that after being married a year and a half i would already be feeling like i could not possibly come up with another thing to make for dinner. i never thought that making and sticking to a budget would be hard. i never thought it would be so difficult to remember to pray for my husband every single day. i never thought that i would be craving more time with him, because we never get enough. i never thought that what people said about having to be intentional about making time for, you know, would be true. and that it wouldn't just happen everyday, all the time, entirely spontaneously. i never thought that i would think so much about what i would do if anything ever happened to adam. and that it would be a small, but constant, source of fear for me.

i never thought that i would look at other wives and wonder why everyone seems to do it so easily. and why i thought i'd be the world's best wife. and why it is harder than i thought to live up to my expectations, of myself.

you are probably wondering,

well what the heck did you think then?

and, i guess what it thought was,

(if i'm being honest)

that it would all come really easily to me.

and that i would feel totally successful in my role as wife. from day one, to year fifty.

and i'm learning that the more you love someone, and the more you want to serve them well, the more you'll be smacked in the face by the fact that you are human, and imperfect, and that you are not going to be able to do it flawlessly and effortlessly all the time. unless, you are a super-human. aaaand, i am not that.

i love adam. and i really love being his wife. and realizing what real wife-dom means.

just some thoughts.

what does real wife-dom look like for you? since we are being honest here...