letters i wrote, two and three.

april 11, 2013

(~8 weeks) 

yesterday we took you to your first concert. it was one of our favorite bands. and as we walked through downtown durham, past all the little shops and restaurants, we realized, this is the town you are going to grow up in. these are the streets that we’ll go strolling down as a family. we are pretty sure we already know where we’ll be taking you for your first scoop (after you've developed a strong preference for healthy food of course…). it was amazing how different it was to think of a town as “our town” versus “the town where we’ll have a family.”

it got me thinking about what you’ll be like. people in durham are all so different. we've definitely got an eclectic mix around here. will you be an athlete? we can take you to the durham bulls. you might really love baseball, like us. will you be a duke fan? (well, yes, of course you will be, but…) will you prefer art or math and science? there are lots of both kind of folks around here. but you don’t have to like either. you can like history or politics or hula hooping. 

i am already eager to know how much of your papa you’ll have in you. i hope you have a heap of him in you. he is my favorite man in the world. the amazing thing is, God already knows all of this. He is knitting you together. He is shaping your heart and your soul and He knows just what you’ll be like. and just how perfectly you’ll fill the gaps in our lives with your personality.

we love you so much already. your papa kisses you every morning. his whiskers tickle my belly but i let him do it anyway because i love how much he loves you. every little thing that we don’t know about you yet, we love.

april 18, 2013
(~9 weeks)

i feel like i finally met you today. in the tiniest way. we went to the nurse this morning and she put the little spotlight right on you. and boy did you love it. you were wiggling around and your little heart was pounding out of your chest. we couldn't believe how fast it thump thump thumped. never has a sound put me more at ease than hearing your little heart beat. it made my heart pitter-patter and my eyes get teary…ok, they were fulls tears. i couldn't help it. you are real. i didn't really 100% believe it until today.

how certain can we be after two tests? and a missed period? and some gnarly symptoms?

but today i felt very sure. as soon as you popped up on that screen. all nine weeks of you.

my oh my. there just aren't words.

we got to leave with a few photos of you. we texted them to your family immediately. you look like a little gummy bear. a very snuggly little gummy bear, i hope. i have never felt so proud and so completely undeserving all at once.

your papa could have stared at you on that camera all day. i’m surprised he didn't ask if we could just bring the machine home. oh wait, he did. i think he is pretty proud of you too. of that strong little heartbeat and your gummy bear stature.

and i think you have his noggin. :)