perhaps, an unusual comparison...

i remember talking with my dear friend emily near the beginning of my pregnancy in march. we were comparing notes about hormone changes in first trimester pregnancy and (this might sound crazy) during chemo. if you've been around here long, you’ll remember emily’s story. we were cracking up realizing how many similarities the two share:

-feeling like there is suddenly a new force in charge of your body and you no longer have control of any kind.

-the constant state of feeling icky.

-feeling like all you can possibly do is sleep and the last thing you could possibly do is anything productive around the house.

-digestive system failure.

-mushy brain.

-relying heavily on the fact that your loving husband will somehow be understanding and take care of you. even if it’s really hard for him to physically understand everything you are feeling.

who knew hormones were so powerful? or that chemo and pregnancy could be so similar? (well, you know…to an extent). it’s truly fascinating to me to think of all the other women who have experienced similar seasons. seasons when they have to surrender their control, discover strength they didn't know they had (even if it doesn't really feel like strength), and find every opportunity to embrace the joy that comes through new (and challenging) experiences.

while my the feelings of excitement, anticipation, overwhelming love for an unborn child…are on the opposite extreme from the fears and struggles of someone going through chemo, i think the joy you find in both comes from the same spring: the joy of a beautiful creation feeling the work of its creator moving powerfully in it; both physically and spiritually. 

i think this is the secret that a lot of people who suffer have figured out: the source of joy in both pain and happiness is the same--the nearness of the creation to its Creator. 

just some thoughts on this beautiful wednesday.  :)