a prayer for my daughter.

father,

i remember the day i learned you did miracles. it was a busy day.
probably one in which i was just a little too busy for you, again.
getting home from work, scrambling around, getting ready for small group.
probably overly concerned about the state of my house,
the nutritional value in the dinner i was throwing together...
then came the news.

and suddenly i was in terror,

and in love all at once.

a baby? but how?

you called me out onto the waters that day,

to the great unknown,

where i knew my feet may fail me.

and it’s there that i’ve been finding you,

in the mystery,

in oceans deep.*

i’m still there.

and the waters feel like they are deepening.

i’m still unsteady, but i feel your embrace:

it’s strong, it’s steadfast, it’s tender and loving.

it’s so much of what i want to offer her-- 

so much of what only you will be able to offer her.

i don’t know why you did, but thank you for choosing me to be her mother.
i don't know why you did, but thank you for choosing now.

i can’t stop praying for her, it consumes my heart.

i can’t make myself stop hoping that she’ll be much more like You, then like me.

much more like her creator.

i want her to grow in your spirit.

i want her to know you deeply, richly.  

i want to know that i can’t mess her up--

that i can’t mess her up because it’s You who knitted her together,

and You who will continue to mold her.

i pray that i’ll be enthralled by your love too,
more and more,
when i look at her face and burst and gush, and know that's how you feel about me, too.

i pray that you’ll give her fiercely loyal friends.

i pray that she’ll offer community and love and friendship to others, without bias.

i pray that you give her your passion and compassion...and selflessness.

i pray that you lead her through her failures with new confidence in you.

i pray that you give her humility too, when she succeeds.

father, i just,
i pray everything for her.
i am so thankful.

thank you for every sweet minute of her life.

and for every sweet minute of our lives that we will get to spend with her.

*lyrics from oceans, by hillsong united.