six months.


beautiful baby girl,

you have survived half of a year. and the crazy thing is that somehow, so have i. this time last year i was fourteen weeks pregnant with you and still getting over the shock. this time this year, i can't remember not knowing you. you are such a little joy. and such a little girl now. your papa and i love to make you laugh, to watch you sleep, to take you to all of our favorites places, and to see all of our favorite people. you are so small, yet you feel like our best friend. we could stare and stare at you all day because you have a different precious expression each second. it's amazing how much you say with just your face. it's amazing how much you say with your sweet little voice too. we have NO idea what you are saying to us, but we love it when you do. keep it coming girl!


in these six months you've learned how to do all of those things you are "supposed" to learn. you are making your way in this world just fine little gal. you are tall and thin and no matter how hard i try to beef you up you just keep getting taller and skinnier. you have exactly one roll. i love that roll. sometimes i call it your sushi roll, which makes no sense, but i love sushi and i love your one little cute little chubby roll. it's on your right leg. it gives me hope that someday you'll get some chunk on your skinny self.

you are so distracted by everything and you never stop moving. it's fun, exhausting, and so much fun. i can't even imagine what you'll be like once you start crawling. i'll turn my head and you'll be halfway to florence in ten seconds flat. that's ok, i'll follow you there. we can have some gelato together on the steps of ponte vecchio. i love to dream with you girl. dream of our future relationship. dream of our mother-daughter bond. dream of the adventures we'll go on together. dream of days at the beach and evenings in forts reading books.

you look more and more like your papa all the time and everyone likes to tell me that. of course, it's one of my favorite things about you. i mean, have you seen your papa? he's a good one to take after. i think you have a little bit of me in there somewhere. i mean, you do have my tongue. it's long and pointy and you stick it out ALL the time. yeah, it's adorable.

i could keep gushing but i'm sure i've thoroughly embarrassed you by now. get used to that BABE. i've got all those crazy mamma tendencies already when it comes to you.

i love you more than all the love. tvb.

xoxoxoxoxo,

mamma




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one way in which having a baby has apparently helped me grow up.



so this is another post that's been rolling around in my head--while nursing, hauling the bambina around on my hip, playing with her on her spit up coated play mat--that's when so many of my blog thoughts come to me. and then they get lost somewhere between bath time, bedtime, and washing dirty diapers. so here's one that's been rolling around...forgive its rather unpolished state. my whole life is rather unpolished lately, soooo here we go:

before i got pregnant, grew a baby, birthed a baby, and have continued to grow that baby with my body alone--i had just has much concern about my body image as the next girl. i'd like to think i was a little less worried about it than some, and maybe i was. but i had my fair share of moments in which comparison knocked me down and out. and my fair share of moments when i was sure i'd be happier if...if...if...

but you know what i realized? i think i have a new appreciation for my body's purpose and my body's value since having a baby. i used to feel like my body's value was mostly found in how it looked. (funny, it's as if there's a billion dollar industry teaching me that or something?) if it looked good, it was fulfilling its purpose. if it looked just, eh, it wasn't quite as valuable. and i had some times when i felt "dang lookin' good" and many more times where i felt very "eh."

this morning i was looking in the mirror and i thought, "dang you grew a baby with that body. and you've been keeping her alive with that body. and you've done it with less sleep than you've ever not-slept. and every day somehow that body stretches to new limits to take care of and provide for other human beings. dang that's one crazy rad body." and for maybe the very first time ever, i looked in the mirror and i wasn't looking at what my body looked like, but i was genuinely looking at it and admiring what it was capable of. and i felt amazing and proud and grateful to be created in the image of God. and to be created woman. (no offense guys).

one of the most influential and encouraging people in my life surrounding florence's birth was my birth instructor, and she sent me a postcard with this quote--which is still on my fridge and probably will be forever:

"remember this, for it is as true as true gets: your body is not a lemon. you are not a machine. the Creator is not a careless mechanic. human female bodies have the same potential to give birth well as aardvarks, lions, rhinoceri, elephants, moose, and water buffalo. even if it has not been your habit throughout your life so far, i recommend that you learn to think positively about your body."
-ina may gaskin

i'm a health nut, yes. i one-hundred-and-twenty percent believe in taking care of my body. but i think i may be past that ever-lovin' phase where i care so stinking much about how it looks and constantly comparing and all that (let's be real--middle school) bologna. thanks florence for helping mamma grow up a bit. i'll help you too, when it's your turn.











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girls rule, and they also drool.


i must confess. i thought we were having a boy. i pictured having a boy. i pictured having several boys actually. and when we found out florence was a girl it took me a solid week to wrap my mind around it. but to be honest, i cannot imagine what it would be like to have a little boy now. little girls are so much fun. especially this one.

i still totally want a son or two some day, but florence has been the absolute best start to motherhood i could have asked for. i love dressing her up. i love her little giggles. i love that i've already started teaching her about cooking. about skincare (she is a baby arbonne user). about running and exercise. about the sunshine. about how to make papa smile. about how to make papa say yes to just about anything. about how to snuggle real tight. about how to make friends. i don't know how much she's absorbed, but i'm sure teaching.

she discovers herself more each day. she has recently discovered her feet. she grabs them all the time. and her clothes. she is always pulling up her shirt or skirt, a habit we'll try to fix later because right now, it's one of her adorables and she can do it all she wants. she is discovering me too. she touches my face and pulls my hair and puts her hand in my mouth (typically while it's wet with drool from her mouth). sometimes she just rests her head on my shoulder and wraps her arm around mine while i momentarily die.

she is a total mess too--that's not just a boy thing. she poops, pees, barfs, and drools on every cute little girlie outfit i put her in. but when she looks at me with that drooly smile, fist covered in slobber half in her mouth, i honestly think "how could you have been anything else?"

girls totally rule. it's true. i am sure boys rule in their own right too. i love me a cutie pootie little chunk in some overalls and a ball cap. but for now i am pretty smitten with everything heavenly about little girls.

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