baby vomit.

gosh, i have been so bad at blogging lately.

i've had more running through my mind than ever in my whole life and yet i can't seem to get any of it down. i am not doing any better a job at journaling either. this pregnancy is passing by with quite unsatisfactory documentation. i guess i already tried to explain once why blogging about all this is hard. and it continues...

but here is an attempt at sharing (vomiting) some of the thoughts/happenings around the nelson home as we prepare for the small bambina to arrive.

-we enrolled in birth class really early. i mean, really early. it's a ten week class and the fall session kind of ran into our due date. so we took the summer session instead. and now we are almost done. and while the rest of the women in class are about ready to pop any day now...i'm still at that point where i wear tight things and try to blow it out to feel legit at birth class. so many good things about being prepared early, but it makes the waiting that much harder.

-adam and i watched the happiest baby dvd recently, hoping to master the 5 "s"s. afterward we practiced swaddling each other. with an enormous blanket. pictures exist, but i am not sure we are ready to share them with the world...

-i have had a few moments of weakness. less than i thought i'd have, but still...

luckily, everything i've purchased was on sale. starting this girl early on the importance of never (ok, rarely) paying full price.

these were called "elise coveralls" so...
now she owns them.
(which sounds a little self-absorbed when i put it that way. but i mean, they're adorable. so, whatever.)

picture these with the "cheeky monkey" onesie (pictured below) = our favorite outfit of her life.
how could any daughter of adam's NOT...? exactly.
baby gap @ 30% off everything. yes please!

-oh, so i traded my fun little sporty car, for a practical (bigger) "family" car. i miss that little car, but to be honest, it feels good to be back in an suv. i already look in the rear view mirror and picture her cute little face riding along back there. she is never crying when i picture this. always smiling. so it's pretty realistic.

-i adore feeling and seeing her move around in my belly. is it wrong to stare at your stomach all day long? cause it feels so right. i think she did her first somersault today. *proud mamma.*

-my sister is due in two weeks with my niece/daughter's future best friend for life. i can't wait to meet/hold her anytime now and start feeling my mamma juices flowing. or feel totally terrified. hoping for the former.

-we have narrowed it down to three names, maybe even one. but we are keeping it a secret from here on out...just in case we decide to change last minute! 

-i try really hard to think of something sweeter than adam with our little girl in his arms,

and i just can't. i can't do it. there is nothing.


so there's a small piece of how things are progressing here. our hearts are so full these days. oh to be so in love with a child you don't even know yet. there is nothing like it. we still have a lot of logistics and questions to sort out before we are ready to welcome her into this world. but as for our hearts; they are about one-hundred and fifty percent ready.





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perhaps, an unusual comparison...



i remember talking with my dear friend emily near the beginning of my pregnancy in march. we were comparing notes about hormone changes in first trimester pregnancy and (this might sound crazy) during chemo. if you've been around here long, you’ll remember emily’s story. we were cracking up realizing how many similarities the two share:

-feeling like there is suddenly a new force in charge of your body and you no longer have control of any kind.
-the constant state of feeling icky.
-feeling like all you can possibly do is sleep and the last thing you could possibly do is anything productive around the house.
-digestive system failure.
-mushy brain.
-relying heavily on the fact that your loving husband will somehow be understanding and take care of you. even if it’s really hard for him to physically understand everything you are feeling.

who knew hormones were so powerful? or that chemo and pregnancy could be so similar? (well, you know…to an extent). it’s truly fascinating to me to think of all the other women who have experienced similar seasons. seasons when they have to surrender their control, discover strength they didn't know they had (even if it doesn't really feel like strength), and find every opportunity to embrace the joy that comes through new (and challenging) experiences.

while my the feelings of excitement, anticipation, overwhelming love for an unborn child…are on the opposite extreme from the fears and struggles of someone going through chemo, i think the joy you find in both comes from the same spring: the joy of a beautiful creation feeling the work of its creator moving powerfully in it; both physically and spiritually. 

i think this is the secret that a lot of people who suffer have figured out: the source of joy in both pain and happiness is the same--the nearness of the creation to its Creator. 

just some thoughts on this beautiful wednesday.  :)





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the fourth, of course.





we love the fourth of july around here. and four day weekends. and sunshine. so it felt like this weekend we had it all. we spent most of the fourth at fullsteam eating, drinking, listening to music, playing games, and enjoying the company of some of our most favorite friends. then we headed to the ballpark for the durham fireworks show. they launch them right from the field, and after the seventh inning they let anyone in for free to come watch the show! i heart durham. 



the rest of the weekend was spent hanging out, sleeping in, hiking, and cleaning our house! nesting mode has officially kicked in and all i want to do is clean the house and plan the nursery. what's that? still 19.5 weeks to go...?





hope your fourth of july was great and that you got to celebrate and appreciate our great freedom, and its price.





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lesson for my girl from her mamma, one.

i am sorry that i thought you were a boy for the first 18 weeks. you've just been such an easy little pregnancy. but the fact that you are a girl makes me just a smidgen less intimidated. i know what being a girl is like. and it's something i can actually teach you about. for instance, this is something that you'll probably learn on your own, but:


every girl needs some goooooood girl friends. listen child,

please don't be the girl who only has "guy friends" and zero girl friends. guys are fine, but girl friends are a necessity. and a keepsake. and you do not want to go through life without them. period.

they aren't always easy to make. and sometimes it takes a lot of effort to keep them strong. i don't know if you'll have any sisters, but if you don't, i sure hope that you will have some friends who become your sisters. the great thing is, God usually brings them into your life at just the right time. this weekend your papa and i celebrated the wedding of one of those girls in my life. God just walked her into my life one sweet day years ago and said, "here you go. your best friend. enjoy." and we have. and i pray and trust that God will bring those girls into your life, too. 

it may confuse you how many aunts you have. you'll have seven "real" aunts. which is probably more than most people start with...

but then there will be,

auntie laura
auntie jen
auntie coco...
and so many more. they are your aunts too. because to me, they are sisters.

i think about the mammas who are pregnant with your best friends right now. and i hope they are healthy, and happy, and that their little girls will be similar and different from you. that they'll teach and challenge you. and love you for who you are. because there will be so very much to love about you. 

can't wait for you to meet them, someday.


oh, and just for the record, mammas make good best friends too!


getting ready for (auntie) laura's wedding!
isn't she beautiful!
with (auntie) jen at the wedding!


can't wait to share a few more photos from this weekend later in the week! (and perhaps some that aren't blurry. :)



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