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florence is three months. it's true.




now wait a second, didn't i just write a two-month post? and here we are at three months!

no one was ever exaggerating when they told me that i would blink and she'd be grown! i wish that i could slow down this period when she is so little and new. i looked at her yesterday while i was nursing and she didn't fit comfortably on my lap anymore. now her legs are sprawled out everywhere. she is so long! and it's funny because i honestly don't know when that change happened. i just have to face the fact that her itty bitty newbornness is gone. but she's growing into the most adorable little baby and i'm loving this phase too. full of smiles and chit chat and personality. she recognizes people more now and loves her papa soooo much. she starts smiling when she hears him come in from work.

this month she's mastered sleeping all night. she's rolled over a few times, she's gone on her first road trip and she has several more coming up the next few weekends. she met her great grandmom and some cousins. she's watched some great duke games and watched her seahawks win the superbowl. she's made some baby friends and some big people friends. she's come to love the mom and two little kids who watch her while i work. they gave her a "fairy name", flora. she's started sucking on anything and everything that she can fit in her mouth. she's gaining independence and is able to play on her own a bit. she loves to dance too! 

oh the things i'm discovering about my little bambina. i get to know her more every day. and i'm totally obsessed with the process. spit up and poop included. (which are both getting bigger as she does.)

what was it like before we had her again? it's honestly hard to remember. and i don't really feel the need to try. one of my good friends told me after her son was born, that she wished she'd known him years ago. i feel the same now with florence. of all the months i've lived, i've only known her for three of them. it's just too bad.

we love you and we love you, sweet "flora". happy three months!

xo,

mamma and papa.




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these two



each day begins a whole new fascination with each other.

a fascination with his whiskers,
hairy arms
goofy noises
smooches.

and with her gummy smiles
hiccups
spit ups
coos
kicks
wiggles.

they snuggle in bed together each morning and get to know each other more and more.
to love each other more and more. without really knowing why.
and i get to watch it all happen.
and it totally melts me.

there is no one who he beams at like he beams at her.
there is no one who she smiles at like she smiles at him.

they are such a perfect picture of love to me.
they are such a perfect pair.
gosh, these two together.

something about a papa and his little girl.
a little girl and her papa.
it's so beautiful.

i knew i would explode seeing adam with her.
when we were still waiting for her, i imagined them together.
but by golly, if it's not a thousand times sweeter than i ever even imagined.

and aren't i the lucky one?
to be the third in this family.
these two are mine.
mine.
it's just too good.


 




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happy day!


happy valentine's day to everyone. we are celebrating by having our second snow day in a row!! we sure hope everyone everywhere is safe and warm today. lots of love from the nelsons and happiest of weekends!





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how i am doing.




so i am officially in my third month of motherhood--the least glamorous and most amazing job in the world, i'm finding. my whole life has changed so ridiculously fast. sometimes i just have to look around me and laugh at the things that are normal now. until the other day when i was driving to work for the first time--entering into "adult world" again, i hadn't really stopped to ask, "elise, girl, how are you doing with all of this??" and sometimes, you just need to have that kind of heart-to-heart with yourself. am i right?

so here is the skinny: physically, i feel great. pregnancy was pretty easy on my body. florence's birth was fast and natural and allowed me to bounce back really quickly. since giving birth i suddenly have terrible b.o. for the first time in my life...only in my left pit. so that's a bit weird and unusual. but i am enjoying walking a lot and starting to get back into running some. my little rock star of a daughter is a pretty great sleeper too. so while i'm really tired, i know it could be a lot worse. wow, am i grateful for all of these things. (well, b.o. excluded).

emotionally, i'm doing pretty well too. i know that postpartum depression is a very real thing that affects a lot of women. i definitely had my fears while pregnant of what it might look like if i did experience it. i know breastfeeding is helping a lot. and the grace of God, basically. not to say there aren't days when i feel like i might break down if she refuses to sleep another nap. or days when i cry all the way to work after i leave her. but overall, i feel pretty stable.

so the area that continues to be really difficult in this whole new mother scenario? goodness, it's identity. i remember telling my mom around the 2 week mark that i felt like i had lost my identity and my autonomy. like elise didn't exist anymore. now i was just florence's caretaker/boob/diaper changer. i still have to pay attention to what i eat and drink because of her. i have to sleep in a bra?? and wear pads in them at all times for fear of milk puddles. my hair is dirty and never blow dried and usually sticky with spit up. i swear my eyes have wrinkles now. i love having her with me when i go do things, but sometimes i just want to be alone. or with friends and no babe. sometimes i just want to be a normal, feminine, hygienic, wine-drinking woman who can do her thang without worrying about how it will physically affect another human being. or at the very least, go more than a few hours of my life without having to either feed her or pump.

not to mention trying to be an attractive wife to my husband and focus on my marriage (more on that later)...

florence adds to who i am in a way that i love and adore. but i'm not kidding, it takes time to adjust to that new identity. it takes time to strip seriously thick layers of selfishness and independence off. it takes time to be ok sharing my husband and best friend with another little lady. it all just takes time. i love my daughter to the moon and back. i could literally live off of her sweet little baby smell. and her smile...gush. but i guess i'm still human with some major selfish tendencies.

so that's how i am doing. good talk elise.







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