-i have officially hit the "no longer sleep well/at all" marker. not such a fun one. the good news, we are in the third trimester now!
what has your life looked like lately? oh, and happiest of hump days to you!
** i ditto the disclaimer from this previous post. please refer to it before proceeding.**
ok, now that we are all comfy cozy with being real here:
when i went in for my first prenatal appointment at eight weeks, my nurse said, "so a year ago i sent you out of here with a prescription for bcp. what happened?"
"well, uhh, i never filled it...we chose to switch to a, uh, more, uh natural method." grin.
"i see. well, as you've discovered (ahem), that method isn't nearly as reliable."
i was torn as to whether i should write this post and address the elephant on my blog. a little while ago i posted about why we chose to use the fertility awareness/natural family planning method of birth control. and here i am 27.5 weeks pregnant. so any believers i gained then, are probably suddenly skeptics again. that's you isn't it? it's ok.
when it comes to birth control i am a strong believer in choosing a method that seems best to you and your partner. so nothing i am posting is with the intent of trying to convince anyone to do things any way. but, for us, it's what felt right. and here are some reasons why i still believe in FAM:
first, i believe us getting pregnant was a small (or huge!) miracle.
second, this method is quite reliable (90%--higher if you use it most strictly) but obviously lower than your typical bcp (98%). so there's that.
third, we followed it with extreme precision and were as careful as we possibly could have been.
fourth, God (aka, creator of the universe, quite powerful) had a different plan.
five, when God has a different plan, his plan is the winning plan.
in any case, something bigger was at work here than our desires to conceive or prevent. the something bigger had a bigger plan. we are pretty dang confident that the "something bigger"'s plan always trumps ours. we are head over heels in love with this miracle of a child growing inside of me. only three months more till we meet her!
now, i will admit to this: after this sweet bambina is born, we plan to continue using FAM. we have talked through ways to go even above and beyond what is considered safe. because apparently we have a tendency to conceive against all odds...what a skill! but this is still the method that is most comfortable for us and most aligns with our priorities. so call us crazy, but that's where we stand.
and that's all i have to say about that.
(but i am interested: has anyone else had other/similar experiences with natural family planning as we have? have you been able to use it successfully for a long time? do you still think we are crazy for having ever chosen this method?)
|meeting grandma and pappa j.|
|just missing pj.|
|have i mentioned i love my niece?|
|do we look like we could do this? just say yes.|
|with her mommy and daddy.|
|the most beautiful mother!|
|ok, yeah i want one.|
|such a natural. :)|
|couldn't stop kissing her sweet little head!|
i have been doing a lot of preparation to bring this girlie into the world. i am actually really excited to give birth. and not all the intimidated about that part. (please, just let me run with my naivety ok? it's working for me). i am not sure there is anything i have or will ever do that will be more amazing that bringing a small human into the world with my body.
i've read a lot. i am taking an awesome class with adam. i have been eating well and keeping myself healthy.
it's partly because it's a big day that is fast approaching. but i think it's also because it is a bit more tangible and less intimidating than thinking about everything that comes after...you know the part where you actually have a baby. and take care of it. and raise it...
there are so many different parenting theories. heck, there are tons of theories just about how a baby should sleep. where's a mamma to start? sometimes i just think to myself, "just give me another book on childbirth! i can do that part!"
thankfully, i read two things that calmed me right down recently. one was by a doctor talking about different parenting styles. he said, something to the effect of,
you know, as a pediatrician, i'm not totally bought into any one parenting philosophy. i don't think there is any philosophy out there that has it all down. or that applies perfectly to every child. the only thing that concerns me is when parents don't think about parenting at all. when they are lazy and choose to not parent when they should. they don't think about whether they should be coddling a child with a skinned knee or teaching them toughness by not coddling--they just don't make an effort either way. rather than choosing which style of discipline to use, they just get lazy and don't make an effort to discipline their children at all. (total paraphrase but you get the gist.)
ok, so that's where my first sigh of relief came. i don't think we are in danger of this. i think our parenting style will evolve over time. i think it will depend on who this little girl is. and i think a lot of it will be trial and error. but i don't think that we will ever be apathetic parents. and i know that whatever philosophy we develop together will be grounded in our understanding of our heavenly father and his perfect parenting.
which leads me to the source of my second sigh of relief: "but blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. they will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. it does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. it has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." jeremiah 17:7-8
as i read this recently, i thought, i just want to plant this girl by the water. i want to help her establish roots that have an eternal source of nourishment. i don't want to force those roots. but i want to teach and lead her toward them. and then, i'll have to trust her heavenly Father to care for her the way He's always cared for me. so that in all those times when i am really not in control of what life brings her way (so basically always...) i can have confidence in where she is rooted.
oh thank goodness we are not her ultimate parents.
and thank goodness we get to be her parents.