ok, so you are still in there.

hello my child,

you still doing ok in there? ok, yeah, that's how it seems...

we are still doing pretty well too but it's getting a little harder to wait for you. i know you don't know much about sports yet, but you will. and when you do, you'll understand this analogy a lot better. sometimes we refer to overtime as "free basketball." you know, you pay for the two halves, but then all of the sudden, you get some extra ball. usually at the expense of your mental health because your team missed a few crucial free throws down the stretch or committed a really stupid turnover. anyways, overtime is kind of like being overdue. on one hand we feel like the waiting is driving us crazy, but don't worry. we are also enjoying our free ball...

we went and got a christmas tree. we started prepping some of the thanksgiving dishes. we strung lots of lights and hung your first christmas ornament. we even brought all of our blankets in the living room and camped out under the tree for a night. but every time i feel you do something painful or crazy in there i jump a little and wonder if it's all beginning. 

you have me on my toes, girl.

and your papa too.

and just about everyone else in our lives that keep "checking in" on us.

my nurse gave me one due date (22nd). my midwives gave me another due date (27th). my thought is that God has an entire other due date in mind. and i'm thinking His is the one that's going to count in the end. 

so just hold tight. or come on now. whatever. but just so you know, we are ready, 



love you crazy baby.


a nursery tour. (because she's actually due this week...)

we had such a good time coming up with ideas and working together on projects for the nursery. adam is very task oriented and gets very focused on a project. he wants to zone in, take his time, and present the finished result. and then there is me who LOVES to watch and hover and help and discuss each step at great lengths…awesome, right? 

every project man's dream wife...not.

needless to say, early on in our marriage we had to troubleshoot how to do projects together. luckily after painting a few rooms together in our first little rental we seemed to get the hang of it. two years later, i think we are a pretty good team. not that we don’t have our moments still…

anyway, of all of our together projects, this one brought us the most joy. we got giddy with every little detail. the other night after hanging a few a little things on her wall, adam yelled downstairs and said, “elise, her room rocks!” i smiled. one, because how sweet is it for a father-to-be to get all excited about his baby girl’s room? and two, because i totally agreed. it’s the first room we've actually “done” in our whole house. and yes, we moved in almost a year ago. these days it's our favorite room to just be in too. last night adam randomly asked "do you want to go hang out in the nursery??" ha, can you tell we are ready to meet her? 


we think it rocks. we think she rocks. and we can’t wait to bring her home and introduce her to the little space made especially for her. for real. there is going to be an actual sweet little bambina living in this space. eeeeeks!

this chair was in my grandmom’s house and she was getting rid of it. score! i didn't remember how cute it was until adam brought it home and plopped it in the nursery. could it be more perfect? plus, my awesome and very dear friend steph made this precious sign for her.

i have had this dresser and lamp since my second year of college. but how perfect are they in here? we did buy a new shade that matches a bit better.

we adore this crib and crib set. remember my rant about non matchy-matchy sets? and no crib would be complete without one or two jellycat animals. from what i can tell, there have never ever been better stuffed animals than jellycats. and that lion...eeek!

meet queen buzzy bee. my favorite of her toys so far. 

lil' newborn mocs? yes please!

she has a big old window and window seat too...which is the last project that we'll need to do. but these days, when it's dark about 20 out of 24 hours...we aren't too worried about curtains. we'll figure that out at some point.

ok child, big week! come see your room, if you want!


a prayer for my daughter.


i remember the day i learned you did miracles. it was a busy day.
probably one in which i was just a little too busy for you, again.
getting home from work, scrambling around, getting ready for small group.
probably overly concerned about the state of my house,
the nutritional value in the dinner i was throwing together...
then came the news.
and suddenly i was in terror,
and in love all at once.

a baby? but how?

you called me out onto the waters that day,
to the great unknown,
where i knew my feet may fail me.
and it’s there that i’ve been finding you,
in the mystery,
in oceans deep.*

i’m still there.
and the waters feel like they are deepening.
i’m still unsteady, but i feel your embrace:
it’s strong, it’s steadfast, it’s tender and loving.
it’s so much of what i want to offer her-- 
so much of what only you will be able to offer her.
i don’t know why you did, but thank you for choosing me to be her mother.
i don't know why you did, but thank you for choosing now.

i can’t stop praying for her, it consumes my heart.
i can’t make myself stop hoping that she’ll be much more like You, then like me.
much more like her creator.
i want her to grow in your spirit.
i want her to know you deeply, richly.  
i want to know that i can’t mess her up--
that i can’t mess her up because it’s You who knitted her together,
and You who will continue to mold her.
i pray that i’ll be enthralled by your love too,
more and more,
when i look at her face and burst and gush, and know that's how you feel about me, too.

i pray that you’ll give her fiercely loyal friends.
i pray that she’ll offer community and love and friendship to others, without bias.
i pray that you give her your passion and compassion...and selflessness.
i pray that you lead her through her failures with new confidence in you.
i pray that you give her humility too, when she succeeds.

father, i just,
i pray everything for her.
i am so thankful.
thank you for every sweet minute of her life.

and for every sweet minute of our lives that we will get to spend with her.

*lyrics from oceans, by hillsong united.

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