on wife-dom, and super-humans.

when i decided to be a wife,

i never realized how good it was going to be. i couldn't have known without experiencing it.

but,

i also never thought that after being married a year and a half i would already be feeling like i could not possibly come up with another thing to make for dinner. i never thought that making and sticking to a budget would be hard. i never thought it would be so difficult to remember to pray for my husband every single day. i never thought that i would be craving more time with him, because we never get enough. i never thought that what people said about having to be intentional about making time for, you know, would be true. and that it wouldn't just happen everyday, all the time, entirely spontaneously. i never thought that i would think so much about what i would do if anything ever happened to adam. and that it would be a small, but constant, source of fear for me.

i never thought that i would look at other wives and wonder why everyone seems to do it so easily. and why i thought i'd be the world's best wife. and why it is harder than i thought to live up to my expectations, of myself.

you are probably wondering,

well what the heck did you think then?

and, i guess what it thought was,

(if i'm being honest)

that it would all come really easily to me.

and that i would feel totally successful in my role as wife. from day one, to year fifty.

and i'm learning that the more you love someone, and the more you want to serve them well, the more you'll be smacked in the face by the fact that you are human, and imperfect, and that you are not going to be able to do it flawlessly and effortlessly all the time. unless, you are a super-human. aaaand, i am not that.

i love adam. and i really love being his wife. and realizing what real wife-dom means.

just some thoughts.

what does real wife-dom look like for you? since we are being honest here...






3 comments:

  1. Real wife-dom looks like: repeatedly saying to my husband (in the early years) "What's wrong with you? Why aren't you normal? Why aren't you exactly like me???" And then, fortunately, laughing together about it.

    Real wife-dom looks like: accepting that we're always going to be different people who are on a journey together in life, and oh what a wonderful journey it is.

    (PS. I've had to deal with that small but constant fear too.)

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    Replies
    1. haha, i think my biggest issue is wondering what's wrong with me and why can't i have it all together and be the perfect "housewife" and work full time. sometimes spaghetti for dinner just has to happen. :) luckily adam is so not high maintenance. i think i put the pressure on myself. and my mom was so stinking amazing too so i have big shoes to fill. :)

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  2. Spaghetti for dinner is a delicious, and perfectly valid, option!
    Early in my marriage, I was so cowed by my mother's "perfection" in hospitality -- she'd make LISTS of when to put start the peas, the mashed potatoes, the roast; every single Saturday night Mom and Dad would host a few grad student couples (from the community of Sunday School class Mom taught) over for hamburgers and the works. Since Dad did the burgers, he got credit for "cooking" everything, but I noticed that Mom did Everything Else, including shaping his burger patties! As a response to my perception of the high bar she set, I just wouldn't have people over for dinner cause I couldn't measure up. Eventually we started having a young couple over to plan for the next week's youth group that we four led. Their budget didn't allow for Coke so we always had that and it was much appreciated. I had spaghetti so many times as it was what I could do; it was hard to give myself permission to do things differently from how Mom used to and David kept encouraging me. (For the record, David does our company cooking these days as I'd still rather not do it; we both do food prep/cooking on a daily basis.)

    Continue to offer yourself grace to not be super-human, and thanks for being so wonderfully transparent in your blog writings.

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